Monday, January 21, 2008

Enumeration of stages

The stages are:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance
i seen my mum been through these stages.
"it can't be happening.."
"why me? it's unfair.."
"Just let me live to see my children.. 5 years.. 5 more years"
"i'm going to die, why bother with anything?"
"it's going to be ok.."

what i went through..
"mum's gonna be fine after operation/chemotherapy.. etc etc."
"why my mum? she is such a nice person.."
"just let mummy see us till we start our own family..."
"my mum's going to die.. what can be worse than that?"
"let's spend the remaining days with mum fruitfully"

then...

"my mum's gone.. but she is still around.. i want her to be around"
and the cycle continues....
i don't know where am i now.


cycle continues if even for afterlife.
i know my mum..i know.

...can't believe she is dead...
...why is her life so short...
...hopes to be around at home to watch over us...
...time's up there's nothing she can do, she grief...
...it's time for her to depart to her own world...


Thursday, January 17, 2008

i miss her lots..




i flip through the pics uploaded to my facebook.
i realised i miss her lots..
is there really something call afterlife?
is she happy in her own world?
i wish she could come back in my dream..
so that i can give her my last goodbye kiss and hug.

how i wish i am a witch. (something like harry potter..)
where the person in the pics can move...
where the dead could still move about and still talk to you..
haiz...

there's still a videocam lying in the drybox..
i do not have the courage to replay those tapes.

whatever it is..
this moment..
i really wish to have her back...

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Monday RAWKS like HELL

yes!!! my most anticipating monday, i love mondays lots, always lots of clients, breaks always shorten, endure screaming impatient singaporeans!Even got a premier "Love letter" before chinese new year today! got complained by a walk-in client for letting clients with appointment to see the doctor first, had him waiting like a fool at the reception not knowing when he's gonna get to the doctor. Gave sarcastic comments then threw a "F**K IT!" on my face and left. Then MPAH received the "love letter" and forward it to us.

Another client came in during our off operation time, wanted ear medication for his dogs ear infection that was seen last four years, giving excuses like not able to bring the dog because it's big? fat? whatever, or don't have time to bring....will medicate first to make the dog feel better then bring in....still refuse to give him the meds, just as i expected, they will ask for the vets..... then when the vets say NO, they will storm out of the clinic without saying good bye.
I feel like bloody knock the sense out of these people trying to buy meds over the counter giving excuses. what if your child is very sick but have to rush for a meeting with a big bang client that may gives u a commission to last for a lifetime, jus throw a "panadol for kids" to him/her and assure "yes daddy will be back, jus drink it, will make u feel better, will bring you to see a doctor when daddy's back!" Don't have the money, Don't have the time? then don't get a pet, jus as good as don't commit yourself for a family. I even have secondary school kids bring in a newly bought JRT wanted a consultation but don't have the money to pay for anything, then i asked whether i could contact their parents as they are underage to make decision, they turn another big round saying they have financial problems...what F**k is going on with their pea brain?????? everything just don't really click to together.......i feel like putting myself to sleep........why burden yourself with a dog? is not like u picked a puppy somewhere straying around crying whatever and out of kindness, u try to help the dog. you BOUGHT the puppy and how dare you telling me you don't have the money to take care of it. jus like Mr brown's podcast "Zheng my car" johnny said, " SORRY AH! MY SHOW NO SPONSER AH! IF GOT SPONSER I ZHENG FOR U SWEE SWEE(Hokkien)" ya, my clinic no sponsers too, or i can treat your pets for free!!!Gosh! total shitness...... anyway mpeast is looking for receps, any takers? advise to work on monday, is the most exciting day of the week.

Friday, January 04, 2008

i love old maids

i simply juz enjoy HAHAHA-ing with old maids : ))



Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Loser....

Von wanna be a hot babe
Ling wanna be pretty
guess what's my new year resolution?! GOTA CATCH"EM ALL!!!!!!!!!!! my legendary pokemon!!!!!!! he kept running away from me!!!!!!!!! ROOOAAARRR!!!YES! indeed, i spend my new year's eve playing pokemon at home.......so addictive hahahahahaha
alright, gonna go catch them now...i know, i'm a loser, i wanna play pokemon till 30 yrs old, crowd around with all my 30 yrs old friends at mac donald trading pokemon. thats my new year resolution

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

New Year Resolution 2008

don't laugh at me...
i'll aim for it!

1) Get straight As (aim for the sky, fall on the stars... ya.. A*!)
2) Slim Down, tone up those flabs.
3) Healthy mindset
4) Spend time with my loves one
5) Save LOTS of $$$
6) Log more dives
7) Learn something new
8) Achieve enlightenment