Enumeration of stages

The stages are:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

i seen my mum been through these stages.
"it can't be happening.."
"why me? it's unfair.."
"Just let me live to see my children.. 5 years.. 5 more years"
"i'm going to die, why bother with anything?"
"it's going to be ok.."

what i went through..
"mum's gonna be fine after operation/chemotherapy.. etc etc."
"why my mum? she is such a nice person.."
"just let mummy see us till we start our own family..."
"my mum's going to die.. what can be worse than that?"
"let's spend the remaining days with mum fruitfully"

then...

"my mum's gone.. but she is still around.. i want her to be around"
and the cycle continues....
i don't know where am i now.


cycle continues if even for afterlife.
i know my mum..i know.

...can't believe she is dead...
...why is her life so short...
...hopes to be around at home to watch over us...
...time's up there's nothing she can do, she grief...
...it's time for her to depart to her own world...